Male 28, fair and tall , Engineer, working in a top MNC seeks a fair ,good looking girl. Preferably working.
No, that's not me , but then that is what a general ad in the matrimonial look like. Often exaggerating everything apart form the age.The point I want to bring up here is if it is fair to treat fair as good and often as a measure of beauty(like in the most generalized of matrimonial ads)? Is it true when people say that Indians are closet racists? No doubt , people with fair complexion consider themselves superior to the relatively darker people in terms of beauty (and even intellect maybe?) . It is almost tacitly accepted, that a fair person is more beautiful or maybe as some might like to put in, more seeked for. Pick up any matrimonial ad and you will see how everyone wants fair bride and groom and how everyone tries to exaggerate their own complexion selling themselves. Colour or complexion is in many cases the basic parameter for forming prejudices and judging people in our country and it is in fact very saddening .
Blame who? The ones with fairer complexion? No! They are a victim of commercialization , and so are all others who have been made to believe that skin complexion is all that important. Companies have long enslaved the Indian market as they find us very naive and very palpable. A billion who can be fed with any sort of bullshit and made to believe in it. The onus mostly lies with Media and they don't help much with money reeking into everything. I mean look at any of the fairness cream advertisements. They have been selling the idea of how being dark makes you unsuccessful , how a dark guy cant get a girl or how a cricketer needs a fairness cream and the list just goes on.They have been selling it all, and we have been buying it just as promptly. That India sells the highest amount of fairness cream is a fact that only proves how docile most of Indians(not the darkest in the world for all I know) have been. The natural Indian complexion losing its value as some dumb shit ad says that dark skins dont get you anywhere. Become all fair and you shall float on the clouds and drink the elixir of life? All of this has been accumulating somewhere inside us and it has turned us into racists. Yes, racists. Do we want to be one? I wish not. For me, I dont and I wont.
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Madhavi · 678 weeks ago
unfoldthefolded 53p · 678 weeks ago
Its very saddening to know that we are so very docile to let some form of media overwrite our instincts!
Dreaming Casually · 678 weeks ago
My recent post Easter- Do You Really Know The Truth About It?
unfoldthefolded 53p · 678 weeks ago
These corporate companies working in those shiny glass buildings have fed us with bullshit! Be it regarding skin complexion or a product demand. If you think of it, they have done it so well that people have fallen for most of it. Classic example would be cellphones.They knew cell phones will saturate if they dont create a demand. Obviously they could not manipulate a cell phones life, so then the easiest thing to do was make it a status symbol and people will do the rest, buying 2-3-4 cellphones when there is no need of it! And that goes on. The more you think about it, the clearer the intent gets!
Ranjana Shankar · 678 weeks ago
unfoldthefolded 53p · 678 weeks ago
Thanks for commenting!
swathivasanth 14p · 678 weeks ago
unfoldthefolded 53p · 678 weeks ago
But then you mentioned about the want to be fair or the want to have a fair partner or to as you mention ,leave no scope for inferiority complex. That want , the complex is what is wrong. Wrong, not in biblical sense but more like wrong in a very simplistic human way. Want and complex is what reflects of how skin complexion makes a difference when it should not! Sad part is,the want has been so tactfully commercialized that the sense of superiority in the "fairer" ones has overgrown the "genuine "want" if there was any. What shows is people who are fair taking pride in the same and often disregarding the darker ones.
Long long ago there used to be moral science classes where we read - "There should be no discrimination based on sex, caste or colour."
Sonia · 678 weeks ago
Sonia · 678 weeks ago
My recent post Smile... A Real Magic...
unfoldthefolded 53p · 678 weeks ago
A little alteration to what you said. It should be more on the lines of - " I am sexy and I know it! " :)
xs2rahulz 9p · 678 weeks ago
jerly · 677 weeks ago
unfoldthefolded 53p · 675 weeks ago
sajan · 675 weeks ago
My recent post The New Earth- A 2012 Odyssey
unfoldthefolded 53p · 675 weeks ago
If only the world would only better.
Ash · 675 weeks ago
My recent post Media Madness
unfoldthefolded 53p · 674 weeks ago
Thanks for commenting.:)
sthitapradnya 4p · 674 weeks ago
Lets start with Basics here, If given a choice, would you pick up black or white? All the websites which are considered good, aesthetically pleasing bear the shades of white some or the other way. A company like Apple Inc, make their products which are termed as beautiful creations and all are white. It somehow maps to the way our mind works and favors color patterns. Even if you see Hindu Mythological entities, Krishna means Black in Sanskrit and Marathi, but when we see his images these days, those are painted blue. We just are not ready accept black as a Positive color. Lord Ram follows the same lineage. Here I am not suggesting white or fair is better, I am just making an attempt to comprehend the psychology behind this thought process. Dark shades might be making us more defensive. We do not know how things work.
Now I know about Melanin, DNA, Genetics and the reasons for darker skin tones. I in no way wish to offend anyone who is not fair. To give a live example, we have a dark girl on our office floor. Tall and Smart she is. The way she dresses and carries herself, the most handsomest of fair guys just try to be around her. What does this tell you? Its not your skin tone, but your attitude makes you a winner or loser. I know its quite hard and demotivating when the world around you constantly goes on and on about how fair complexion is something special and out of the world, sometimes indicative that those are better than Darker colors.
I believe I am not in a position to understand the pains of dark people, but I have seen examples like the one I just mentioned above, where the skin tone does not matter at all. In all the positive sense, this should suffice to look up, smile. Mind you a Smile of a person of dark complexion is much noticable, lovely and endearing than that of a fair one.
unfoldthefolded 53p · 674 weeks ago
I by all celestial coincidence have a fair complexion as well (Thats what people around me tell me, I like being complexion less) and I wouldnt know myself what exact situation a dark person has to face in his/her life.
Would I pick black or White? Unless its an egg we are talking about.(like the viral spoof video) I shall go with black.
Aesthetics, as you mention is a very subjective a thing more like any art form. It has more to do with the target audience. Same with beauty. What is beautiful to me might not be to you or any other person. As for the mythological example, its sad but true. Sad, that we are not ready to accept black as positive when we do have Mata Kali as depiction of power. it is sad that we have brought our own prejudices into all of this.
Yes, your attitude can make you a winner or loser . That is how it should be. But then, ask the ones who have suffered more and know better. Reality is just as far as far as you can think. I say because I know of a few examples. I would have bought the whole idea of attitude if instead of fairness creams we had more motivational books selling.
I am not saying that fair is bad and dark is good. I say, fair and dark should not be a parameter at all. I say,let the world be complexion-less. It is what will never be, but then I am sure about myself and if I am of any worth, a few others as well.
sthitapradnya 4p · 674 weeks ago
Its like girls favoring high heels, no matter how uncomfortable to flexibility and agility it is. Its like we have ties even in India, where it does not make any sense to wear them. Can we change the opinion of the populace however flawed it might appear? Can we change our thought process to circumvent the occasional displeasure? The answer to second question is a easier yes.
The fair and lovely and such creams are created out of mass demand and not other way around. When you say the world should be complexion less, you make it look like a machine statement. When you say aesthetics are much personal, you have already answered the question you raise.
I have already admitted that I am not in a position to understand the perils of a dark person, but that's also true, that I have seen darker people taking the throne many times. I wish that those who are put through the ordeal remember and think about such examples that will continue to motivate and inspire them.
unfoldthefolded 53p · 673 weeks ago
I have nothing against personal choice of people. Nothing. What I have an issue with is how the idea of being a successful singer, cricketer or the king of timbaktoo for all is associated with fairness. I have a problem with how the media sells the idea that darker girls dont get good grooms or how without being fair one cannot be successful. That is what I have a problem with. Then it is not a choice of personal aesthetic appeal. Then media is only buying on people with slightly weaker self confidence and manipulating them to get their products selling. Also, they are instilling the unfair sense of superiority in the ones with fairer skin.(That is another thing I HATE. When people take pride on things they have done nothing about and downgrade or look down upon others). This is only creating a divide in the society.
Can I change my thought process to circumvent the occasional displeasure? No . That would essentially mean I should be okay with (essentially changing my thought process in the course) whatever I think is wrong which maybe the general public dont care about. That way we would end up disregarding most of the evils that we know exists, is flawed and is just equally impossible to change.
I sincerely think that many of the consumer goods in the market are not created by demand from the consumer. The demand is marketed through adds and is sold to the docile mass, creating a need for a product. The demand is then converted to sales. Its a complex sales mechanism . That has how it has been in many sectors. The light bulb conspiracy theory is not flawed. It has a bitter truth hidden in it so is the origin of Mineral water bottles. It also very much explains how business phones were smartly marketed to grow beyond their sector by making them a status symbol. This is another story all together.
If only low self confidence for some and the market trend(general public trend) was not manipulated to get capital gains out of it!
You are right in your view and you certainly wont be making things worse for anyone else. But then, there are darker toned people who have started believing that their skin tone is a curse(thanks to the wonderful advertisements) . There are fair people often making things worse for the ones with dark skin. You can deny that if you want to and say that people should motivate themselves, but then that would not solve the problem(which is only setting to grow)
unfoldthefolded 53p · 673 weeks ago
BTW, I appreciate your participation and it is always good to get in good healthy discussions.
Thank you. :)
sthitapradnya 4p · 672 weeks ago
Looking forward to such discussions with you in future as well :)
Keep writing. :)
unfoldthefolded 53p · 672 weeks ago
Thanks again!